Happy

I took the MCAT again today. I felt pretty horrible afterwards. Disgruntled, because I thought it would have been easier. Sad, because I thought I did worse then last time. Then I called my parents.

How can it be that they can talk you through anything? How do they know what to say? When you feel like everything is just a pile of poo, they can say a few words to turn it back around. They lead you to realize the truth and help you find peace again. 

It just boggles my mind. I want their intuition. I want their all-knowing hearts. Their experience repeatedly trumps mine because they have so much more ground gained ahead of me. Their willingness to listen and offer reassurance that things will be ok is just tremendous.

My parents are awesome. They comfort and love and give of themselves for me, regardless of how I behave in return. They support and guide and help, even when I don't deserve any of those things.

To do all of that, with minimal thanks sometimes in return, is unfathomable. 

I have so much more growing up to do. But soooo glad I have two amazing people to help me along the way.

Love you, my parents. Thanks for putting up with a crazy girl trying to do crazy things. 

Procrastinating

I am having a hard time finishing my personal statement. It is driving me nuts. I want to chuck my computer out of the window and say good riddance.

Seriously, I have a nice computer. There is no reason I should chuck it.

Oh my goodness. WHINE. I am whining. UGH.

I want to put together something that is compelling. Something that will stand out and make the admissions council think to themselves, "I WANT TO TALK TO THIS WOMAN". (yes, just like that)

But I am not finding the right words. Believe me, I have found many other words to insert into the end of my statement like, "pick me", "I'm not stupid, I swear", and "you know you really want my money" but none of these phrases have the correct tone I am looking for...

So what do I do? How can I put into words the true meaning of why I want to practice medicine? It entangles so much more of my soul then simple words. There are big time emotions going on inside. "I love science" or "I want to help people" just doesn't cut it.

Oh geez.WHINE. whining.

I choose to procrastinate and blog instead. Yes, I am sure whining to the public will help immensely...

Happy Saturday to everyone else who is currently sitting on the couch

Gatherings

Family gatherings are weird and awkward. Always. You cannot hide from your great aunt Bertha. She will find you. As well as your great uncle Bob. They will both proceed to ask you what you are doing with your life. Multiple times. 

Oh my. How I just want to flee extended family gatherings, sometimes. The "I'm going to sit in this chair and watch people" card usually gets played on my end... 

It's just that phase of life I'm in, I guess. Not married, not in school, and working a job that no one has heard of... Oh joy. The awkward life phase. I would not trade it, for I am learning more and more about myself everyday, but it doesn't lend itself towards fun and exciting relative-engaging conversation. 

I would really just like to be watching the Olympics. All the time. 

But I love my family. I do! Really, I do! It's just when your 20 year old cousin gets married and all of the cousins have to get together to take a picture and you realize you're the oldest and the last time you saw some of them, they were in diapers... You might just then wonder, "What am I DOING here?"

Oh well.

I'll just keep looking ahead to maybe less-awkward conversations some time in the future...

Cheers to Saturday, everyone!

Cavity

The dentist scares me.

I actually feel a bit better now that I have admitted that...

Anyways, I've always been nervous that the next time I go they will tell me my teeth are rotting out of my face and I will be toothless by 30. Why I feel like that, I don't know... Because they use sharp drills on a regular basis and charge you lots of money for it??? Maybe...

Well, I went today and I am alive to tell the tale. The dentist was super nice and didn't make me feel too awful for having a cavity. But he did tell me that he could fashion a Scarlet Letter C for me, if I really felt that guilty. Ha. No thanks! I'll pass.

Maybe I'm just happy I conquered a fear of mine. Not that I can do anything fantabulous now because I went to the dentist, (except I can chew on the left side of my mouth without pain! heck yeah!) but I am really not afraid to go back, if need be. Hooozzzaaahhh!!

And that makes me superbly happy. Erasing fears. Something I should make a part of my day, every day.

Do something that you are afraid of today, because you might not be afraid of it tomorrow.

Cheers

Here is my article of the week: http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/25/opinion/hatch-taxes/index.html

Sad Heart

I cannot believe what I read in the news today. My heart hurts. I do not understand.

Here is the article: http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/20/us/colorado-theater-shooting/index.html

If you have not already read, a 24 year old man went into a movie theater in Colorado and shot 12 people, injuring close to 40 or more. The youngest injured being a 3 month old baby.

Every moment we have here on this earth is precious.

My thoughts and prayers will be with the families.

Biking

Oh my gosh, I’m a terrible biker. I feel like I may have discussed this before, but it needs to emphasized. However, the fact that I’m a terrible biker just makes me laugh, because currently, I’m commuting to work… on my bicycle…

I mean, it is a great source of physical activity! Without meaning to, you get an extra workout in for the day. Especially when you live in Duluth and work down by the lake, yet live on a hill far, far away from the lake. The bike ride home will be one full of agony, hills, maybe some tears when you fall over trying to balance yourself on the bike at a major intersection with lots of cars, and sweat. BOOYAH, extra workout. And then that beer I have for dinner will just balance everything out nicely…

I haven’t gotten honked at yet, that is probably a good thing.

And biking just makes me happy. Zooming down these hills helps me appreciate my body in an entirely different way then running. I passed a few cars going down Woodland Ave this morning. I do not care how fast you are, you cannot do that while running. I just kept thinking about my lungs and my legs too. They work. I can push the limits of my physical strength pretty far.

So, what if I couldn’t bike anymore? What if I couldn’t run anymore? What if my physical strength and ability were gone?

That is what I thought about when I got to work today. WHOA. DEEP THOUGHT.

I grew up with a sister who did not have the physical strength to do many things. And it boggles my mind how I can still be so selfish and unappreciative of the gifts God has given me sometimes. My legs and my lungs are amazing gifts.

I cannot forget that.

Maybe that is why I go for a run in the morning when I’m half asleep and I bike to work even though I stink at it. At least I am using these gifts of mine.

Go do something active, and try to smile when you’re doing it.

People will think you are up to something 

Here is my article: http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/11/opinion/opinion-rauf-khan-islam-women/index.html?hpt=hp_c2

Jammin'

Mosh pit? Does anyone realllllyyy like a mosh pit? I feel like the answer is no. Well, maybe you don't like them if you would rather live in the woods... too close to people... too much personal space, gone... 

Tonight, I was at the epic Basilica Block Party in St. Paul. I came for friendship and for enjoying some good tunes together. It did not disappoint. The weather turned out to be great. Happy, swaying people. Bobbing along to the music. So nice. 

UNTIL...

Everyone started getting crazy. I swear I had a large sign that said, "Please walk in front of me. Please form a line, and continue to walk in front of me, no matter where I am among the pack of people." I also think I had one that said, "Tall men, come stand in front of me so I can't see ANYTHING" 

Yep. 

But it still was hilarious. Girls dancing in long dresses, slightly tipsy but singing loud. Couples swaying together to the music. Kids on adults shoulders. (p.s. WHO BRINGS THEIR CHILDREN TO A DRUNK MUSIC FEST??) And tall dudes with big muscles pretending like they knew how to dance. It was great. :)

Chill and relaxing. I mean, who doesn't like Train? Heck yeah! 

Cheers to Friday. Yay for beating the heat. 

Here is my article: http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/06/politics/jobs-report-voters/index.html