I clicked Submit

I finished my medical school application last night. I reviewed it for the bazillionth time and actually submitted it. Crazy. Just crazy. The waiting game begins…

I enjoyed some homemade margharita pizza (basil, mozzarella, and tomato pizza) and popped some champagne. Yes, champagne. One of the doctors I work with had given me some after I took the MCAT the first time, and I hadn’t popped it yet. Sooo, yesterday I definitely enjoyed some fizzy beverage, in my pajamas. Felt great. Felt blessed.

But I realized after I sent it in that this is all just the beginning. This process means so much to me, but is also very insignificant in the whole medical school expedition I’m currently on. It could be that no one even looks at the information that I have been working on for the past 9 months. NO ONE. Because the schools have already chosen who they want, and I am too late or just too far down in the pile.

I could let all of that bug me, but I knew the arbitrary judgment was a part of applying
and I wanted to do it anyways. So don’t let me whine. Ever.

One more thing… I clicked Submit to Christ yesterday, too. That is what really drove home the feeling of relief I experienced. None of this ‘choosing’ process was or is ever going to be in my hands. I cannot work on the application anymore. I cannot change what I have written, even if I’ve made typos or should have said this or that. It is in Jesus’ awesome hands. I’ve submitted my future into His hands.

Humbling stuff, dude. Insanely humbling. And I am just so glad to have support from my family and friends to keep going. Because this really could all lead to nothing. Ha. God might not want me to try and be a doctor. He might want me to do something else entirely! But that is what keeps me humble. Keeps my trust in Him, because I never know what the heck I’m doing, but He does. ;)

So, cheers to Friday! And cheers to everyone who has supported me and dealt with my
crabby/stressed self at times! Woo hoo!

I owe you all lots of cookies and sunshine and rainbows.